Over the past four months my relationship with Kathy has consistently come under scrutiny; most of it has been legitimate concerns but there's been some negative banter sprinkled in there from people with ulterior motives. My move out here and me and Kathy's struggles have caused the volume of the concerns to rise, so I figured I would address some of the many concerns in a blog so I can write out my answers and have a digital "round table" discussion with my friends.
Concern #1: My Move Out Here
There were numerous concerns raised by my move out here, most of which have been disproven over time. The most prevalent concern was I am "ceding control" of our relationship by moving out here. The underlying reasoning is that by me moving out here and changing my life for our relationship that I was assuming the "submissive" role and bowing down to Kathy's desires. The first flaw in this argument is that Kathy didn't ask me to come, I took the initiative; secondly me and Kathy are not in a "betrothed" relationship so there are no submissive roles. If me and Kathy were married (or one could argue once we're engaged) then my leadership role becomes more clearly defined. As it stands right now me and Kathy are two individuals in a committed relationship getting to know each other and exploring the possibility of marriage, so the marriage roles aren't in effect. I have to earn Kathy's trust and respect so that I will have her trust and respect once we have entered into the marriage relationship. I don't want to have to demand her respect, I want to earn it over time - starting now. My move out here displayed my sacrificial love and servant's heart, she can see that I'm serious about her and I'm serious about us. I am doing what it takes to win her heart and to further our relationship.
Concern #2: Our Physical Relations
For those of you in the know, me and Kathy have been struggling a little bit in our physical relationship. Many people have questioned my leadership in the relationship and whether or not I can rescue our relationship from the slippery slope we're on now. To those of you who have expressed concern: you have every right to worry. Me and Kathy are working vigilantly to purify our relationship, and we are taking the necessary steps in order to save our relationship and make it pleasing to God. I have surrounded myself with community, both here in Evanston and back home in the Antelope Valley. Me and Kathy have set new boundaries, which I will share with you at the end of this blog. We're going to be starting pre-engagement counseling as soon as possible and will be working together to restore our relationship's purity.
So that's the update, I hope that answers your questions and calms your worries. If you have more questions that you want me to answer, post them here and I'll answer them - as long as they have nothing to do with weddings and engagement plans! ;)
Me and Kathy's Boundaries:
No alone time in a bedroom for longer than fifteen minutes
No "petting" on or around private areas - we need to work not to arouse the other
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