Saturday, March 08, 2008

The birth of Ali

On March 3rd, 2008 my life changed forever. At 4:39pm my daughter Alexandria Victoria joined us, healthy and weighing in at a plump 9lbs 7oz. Of course, those facts just tell the end result, the full story is so rich and full of memories!
At 7am (almost on the dot) on Sunday morning (March 2) Kathy woke up thinking she had to go the bathroom and was met with a gush - her water broke! She woke up with a joyful, "Alex! Alex! My water just broke, oh my gosh! oH MY GOSH!" We both sat there for a second staring at each other with this look of "this is really happening??". A couple hours went by and Kathy hadn't had any contractions, we were starting to get a little antsy. Kathy knew she had a long, hard day ahead of her so she suggested we got get some Jamba Juice so she get a nutritous, easily digested meal before the long, hard delivery process began. On the way to Jamba Juice we picked up her mom and brother; headed to Jamba Juice and came back to the house. On the way back to the house she started to get some very minor contractions. We pulled up to the house, clicked the garage opener button, and...nothing. Hit the button again. Nothing. We didn't bring the set of keys with the house keys on it because we were in such a rush to get out the door, and it's never been a problem before. Come to find out the power to the entire neighborhood was out, so we were locked out of our house!!! On the day that Kathy is giving birth (at home!) we were locked out!! So I took Kathy and her mom to a local coffeehouse so she could sit in a comfortable chair and I took Jimmy with me to Wal-Mart to buy a tool to break into the small side door on our garage. As we were checking out, the cashier looked at us with suspicion: "Ma'am, I'm buying this wrecking bar to break into MY house...my wife is in labor right now, and..." She interrupted, "Y'know what? I don't wanna know!" We completed the purchase, picked up the women and headed back to the house. At the last possible second (after two unsuccessful attempts) the garage door opened and we were able to walk in without causing any permanent damage. Whew!
Kathy took a seat on our recliner and the contractions really started kicking in. Her friends Jenna and Christin were there to encourage her and help her keep her mind off the pain. Hours went by...more people trickled in, we watched some Friends episodes, Kathy baked brownies (yes, while she was in labor Kathy was baking to occupy her mind). I was having a harder time with the impending birth than Kathy was, I was really stressing out! Kathy was calm, and every five to seven minutes she'd stop what she was doing, take some deep breaths and continue on. It was amazing, she was so strong!! Things started getting really interesting around nine PM, when Kathy's midwife showed up.
Justine Backhaus was our midwife, her job is to be there for Kathy during labor to guide, comfort and encourage her. She gave Kathy some tips and left shortly after she arrived because Kathy wasn't that far along in her pregnancy. Justine encouraged me and Kathy to rest; she had been in labor for approximately 12 hours by this point. Me and Kathy laid down to rest, and the contractions started to get really intense. Kathy couldn't sleep if she wanted to, even though she was starting to get exhausted. The contractions got more and more intense; one particular contraction caused her to break the tank of our toilet (bad timing for the contraction to come...). We were instructed to call Justine when the contractions were coming one on top of the other, that would be a sign that things had progressed to the point where it would be almost time to get in the tub. We called Justine around midnight, informing her that the milestone had been reached. By the time Justine got back, she checked Kathy and gave us demoralizing news: Kathy hadn't made any progress in the last 4 hours. Kathy was exhausted, and this news broke her spirit. Justine tried to assure Kathy that she could do this; and I urged her to press on. We re-arranged the bed to make it more condusive for Kathy to rest and be in a good position for the inevitable contractions. Kathy pressed on, and went through five more hours of intense contractions. By this time (7am) she had been in labor for almost 24 hours, had thrown up twice, and her body was beginning to shut down. She couldn't hold down food or liquid, and Justine told me privately that if we didn't see fast progress soon we would have to go the hospital. At this point Kathy refused to give up, fighting through every contraction and doing her best to stay positive. Around 11am another midwife came to assist Justine, and Kathy's body was spent. She could barely keep her eyes open; the only time she looked at me was to express pain. Her eyes screamed "Help me!" and there was absolutely nothing I could do. I began to emotionally break down; excusing myself to the restroom to cry in private. My wife was doing the best she could, but she was going through so much.
One o'clock rolled around, and things were nearing the end. Kathy couldn't take it any more, and her body was still rejecting any nourishment. Justine couldn't insert the IV correctly so we couldn't give Kathy nutrients at all. At this rate, she wasn't going to make it to delivery. Around 3:30pm me and Kathy accepted the inevitable and prepared to go to the hospital. As Kathy was being assisted by her friends and the midwives, I wept in my mom's arms. I was broken.
I drove Kathy to the hospital and we pulled in around 4pm. We were quickly admitted and a nurse came in to check on Kathy. This nurse was cruel and rough, mocking our choice to try and have the baby at home while checking Kathy's dilation with no tenderness or concern for her pain. Kathy was 8cm dilated; this baby was coming quickly. An IV was inserted into Kathy's hand so she could have nourishment and Kathy immediately got a second burst of energy - she could do this! Fifteen minutes after arrival we were wheeled into the delivery room. The room quickly filled with nurses getting ready to catch the baby. Kathy's legs were spread and bent, instrutions were given to grab the handles and lean forward. An oxygen mask was put on her face and all the nurses started shouting instructions. I stayed up by Kathy's head, my mouth inches from her ear and I was whispering encouragements and passing on the instructions to her as she continued on. The big moment came...a nurse called our doctor to inform him that Kathy was to the point of pushing.
Our doctor came in and calmly instructed Kathy to start pushing. Following his cue the nurses around us started shouting out the exact same instructions; which I whispered into Kathy's ear. It took her two attempts before she got the hang of the pushing thing; and she gave it her all. After only two they could see the baby's head, on the fourth her head was out and Ali joined us on the fifth push. We had been in the hospital for 39 minutes, and Ali was here. Kathy did it! No drugs, most of it at home. I was sooo proud! Ali was placed on Kathy's chest after she was cleaned off, and I snapped a picture with my cell phone.
Yay!

74 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Alex,

Congrats on the lovely birth of your daughter! I am considering hiring Justine, and was wondering if I might contact you to discuss further your experience with her as your midwife. You can reach me at tshirshac@hotmail.com

I would appreciate your perspective. Thanks!

Terri

Alex said...

Terri;

Our overall experience with Justine was good, and I would recommend her. Me and my wife got the feeling that she really cared about us, but also that she has other clients that she has to attend to as well so our face time with her was limited and every once in a while we felt rushed.

Justine is very nice, she made the right decisions for us during the birth of our daughter (for more info on that you can read my blog :P) and she encouraged us a lot when she came by for her follow-up visit after the birth (we were having a hard first month with our newborn).

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best!

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