As I was worshipping last night to a worship song with the words, "Lead me Lord and I will follow, Lead me Lord and I'll go" I started reflecting on my life and what those words mean. I believe I've been able to "hear" God's voice the past five years of my life, and when I believe He's instructing me I tend to obey with little hesitation. He wanted me to quit my job and start my business, done; He wanted me to change my wardrobe and music, done; He wanted me to use all my profits for Evolution Is Impossible, done; He wanted me to drop everything and move to Evanston, done.
Now I'm in Evanston and wondering what's next. What is God going to do with me and Kathy? What is God going to do with my spiritual walk? What is God going to teach me out here? What's next? I know that Evanston is a temporary thing and I'm supposed to be moving back to California sometime, but when is that time?
Me and Kathy are starting to talk where we'd live if we got married. There's really only two options at this point: Evanston and the Antelope Valley. In lieu of a clear direction from God, how does one decide where to live? I think the best way to decide where God wants you is to find out where you would best be used. If I can be better used in Evanston, I need to stay here. Another way to figure out where God wants you to live is to decide where you'll grow more in your walk with God; if you're in a stagnant place in your walk with God the best thing for you to do may be to move (although this is a very extreme way of shaking up your life!).
I am desperately searching for answers, especially now that things seem to be pulling me in both directions! I just got a new job out here in Evanston, Kath just got a raise and a promotion. I'm learning new things out here and my spiritual walk has been given new life. Me and Kath have gotten much closer as a couple and really strengthened our relationship. But there's a job opening for me in the Antelope Valley in September, Kathy's rent is up in September and I feel like the ministry opportunities out here are lacking a little bit for me and Kath.
These times of confusion are really the most exciting times because they make you lean on God, if you have no stability you're forced to lean on the Rock.
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2 comments:
As I was praying in the shower and thinking about your blog I felt like God was saying he is leading us somewhere, closer to him.
Dude! This is kinda off-topic and all but yea...
There's nobody to woop on in soccer anymore! There's only the guy who is living with me's kid but, he's a kid, and there's no challenge... And the big yellow bus came by and picked him up cause he got SCHOOLED in football today too.
Damn it's 5 AM, I didn't sleep today cause I had a caramel macchiatto (sp?) from starbucks... I'm WIRED.
Anywho, hope Evanston is doing you good and hope u and kathy are doing good and now I need to go find something else to do cause sleep is not an option.
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