Musings of a life-long religious person

I have been a religious person all of my life; for as long as I can remember. I think I first talked out loud to Jesus when I was five, kneeling by my bedside in my family's apartment in Maryland. Since that time I have followed the teachings of the Bible religiously (no pun intended) and have rigorously defended its' truths and teachings in verbal and written debates.

However, as everything does after a long period of time, my faith has gone stale.

I don't know if there's a time I can pinpoint as to "when" my passion waned or the flame turned to a flicker, but I'm not longer excited about my faith. Do I still believe the same? Yes. Am I doubting the validity of my faith? No. Am I stoked every morning that I have found the Truth and that I have been set free? ...no.

With a cooling of the passion comes a relaxation of the standards or morals that one abides by when following a faith. I've found myself sinning a little easier. I don't mind grabbing a free refill with an old cup, I contemplate sneaking into movies or leaving a restaurant without paying. As petty as those actions are, and even though I don't act on these thoughts, the fact is that two years ago I never would have let these thoughts find a resting place in my mind. Sure, they pass by - but I would quickly escort them out.

So what does this mean? What am I going to do about it? Frankly, I don't know.

I have seen the lives of friends that have come to the same place I am in now and they have walked away from their faith. I don't want to become that person or live that life because it sucks. My once-happy friends that were living in the faith-based "bubble" of restricted actions broke out of that bubble and into a life of sin...and they are so miserable it makes me depressed to hang out with them sometimes. Say what you want to about the restrictions of Bible-based living, but the people I know that follow that lifestyle are happier than those that don't.

In conclusion, I'm going to keep walking the path of righteousness simply for righteousness's sake. I'm not going to change my life, run away from my responsibilities or pursue sin. But I'm not as excited about my lifestyle as I used to be.

The end.