Marriage Counseling is not an admission of failure

"Oh, so you guys are going through some hard times?"

That's the common reaction I hear when I tell others that me and Kath are going into marriage counseling; it's assumed we are having major issues. We want to have a comfortable, open environment where we can feel free to talk about certain things and get some advice from a couple we respect so they can help us see things clearer.

Me and Kath are such huge proponents of counseling; it has saved our relationship numerous times! Counseling gave us an outlet for our frustrations as we were learning to grow together; and our counselor(s) were able to offer a different perspective to each of us so we could see where the other person was coming from.

Counseling is not an admission of failure. Counseling is not admitting to "major issues" or an imperfect marriage (wait, who has a perfect marraige?? :P). I would encourage every married couple to see a counselor so they can give their relationship a "tune up"!

Kill me before I die

I was reading one of the blogs on the site I'm working on now (buzznet.com) and the girl said, "I have no ambition...does that make me a bad person?". I pondered the question; and came to the conclusion that she's not a bad person - she's a dead person. What is life without ambition; without hope or without plans? I can't imagine living my life without some kind of a path to walk down; even if I know full well that my plans can and will be changed in a whim by Someone more powerful than myself.

As I walk the dirty streets of downtown Hollywood I see the remains of many dreams in the eyes of the transients begging for my leftover coins. The pathetic displays of the beggars used to annoy me; now they give me motivation to work hard so I don't become them.

A co-worker is always chasing the easiest skirt or the quickest lay; his heart is dead and his reputation is nil. That is not the life I ever wanted; nor do I want to end up like him.

Kill me before I die.

Dooming yourself to fail

I've known many people who have doomed themselves to fail because of their attitude or their outlook on life. You've met them: the chronically pessimistic, the arrogant know-it-all, or the compromising "go-with-the-flow" person. All of these people fail time and time again because they set up each situation so that they have no chance BUT to fail!

The chronically pessimistic person sees life through dark glasses, blinding themselves to any positive outlook or any glimmer of hope. These people never establish healthy relationships and they are constantly worried about their few friends abandoning them or betraying them (and they rarely develop new, intimate relationships). From a Christian's point of view, these are the faithless - they may say they believe God will take care of them but in reality they don't expect anything good to come in their life. I'd pity their misery but they have dug their own ditches by either over-reacting, unforgiveness or allowing paranoia to eat them alive.

The arrogant know-it-all is the saddest of them all because this person has convinced himself that they are always right - which leaves out any possibility for growth, constructive criticism and positive change in their lives. They may vocalize a humble spirit, but their actions and attitude speak otherwise. God warns us over and over against a prideful spirit, and these people are walking examples of the consequences of this lifestyle.

Lastly, the most pathetic group in my rant is the compromising "go-with-the-flow-ers", the people that do not have the willpower to stay away from harm. With a little prodding you can get these people to do almost anything or give up on everything. *sigh*


Did I miss anything?

Blogs that make me mad, part 1,366

So I was reading the most popular blogs on myspace today (I pick one or two based on the title) and I came across this doozy that really infuriated me, only because the principle of the blog is so widely accepted.

The blogger was telling the story of a friend he knew who would sleep with her exes because she needed sex but didn't want her "number" (number of lovers) to go up. So she just wanted sex for sex's sake, no strings attached, but didn't want to be thought of as a slut by her next lover(s) because her "number" was high. I'm sorry, but if you're sleeping with dudes (or dudes sleeping with chics) just to get laid you're a slut.

The thing that made me mad is this perception that sluttiness is a number; it's an attitude. If you're having sex outside of love, you're a slut. *angry sigh*