It's that time of year again, and all through my office building Christmas songs blare out and tell me more about this 'Santa' guy than I want to know. This guy has got to be the most twisted perv in the world. Why? Here's the facts (as I heard them):
1) He wants to give gifts to all the children of the world - no adults, only children.
You say, "how cute" I say how gross! I don't want an old, strange man giving gifts to my kids!
2) He sneaks in everyone's house after dark
If that doesn't give you the creeps I don't know what does.
3) "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"
OK, seriously...this guy has some major voyeuristic issues...and he's watching little kids!! Hello??
4) He greets everyone by calling them a "ho" three times
This Santa guy has very little respect for women, or thinks everyone isa prostitute
5) He stays away in some far off land with only his antelered-friends and plans his one-night excursion
So he plots all year-round for this one night of "free toys for children"?
6) He wants all the little boys and girls to sit in his lap
...need I say more?
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