What happens to you does not define who you are; how you react to the situations you're forced to deal with reveals who you are. We all have a tendency to want to overcome a wrong done to us by indulging in self-destructive behavior; but following these instincts will only lead to even more pain down the road. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I used to hang out with the 'bad' crowd and I'd often hear excuses like, "Well, this-and-this happened to me so I turned to [a self-destructive behavior] to numb the pain." Our self-prescribed sin medicines don't help us; but yet we continue to be drawn to them out of desperation or because society tells us these things help us overcome our pain.

I've outlined a few of the most common wrongs done to us and the self-destructive behaviors that tempt us following these events. The 'biggest' and 'baddest' compromises are drug use, sex, alcohol and violence but our temptations can also include equally devastating outlets such as a change in our mindset or walking away from God because of what's been done to us.

Divorce: After a divorce, the kids left over from it are left with a huge void in their lives that they look to fill with something, anything to numb the pain left by this betrayal. The mind-set the kids have to fight off is worthlessness and that somehow it's their fault.

Sexual Molesting: When one is taken advantage of for their sexuality, their worth as a person is devalued in their mind - you must fight this! Just because someone else only sees you as a sexual object you are so much more than that!

Mini-rant: When one person of the opposite sex (or same sex) touches you without invitation, you have been molested whether you are a guy or girl. Girl's unwelcome advances on guys are dismissed by society because guys 'like it' or 'just want to get laid' so the guys keep quiet to avoid being labeled a fag (or worse). Guys have to constantly fight society's message that we are nothing more than lustful animals looking for sex, because once we devalue sex and categorize it as only a physical act we are devaluing ourselves and breeding a negative mindset that will come to fruition once we are tempted again.

Being called names: Labels followed me around, trying to box me into these destructive mind-sets that something is wrong with me or that I am nothing more than a sexual being. We all have to overcome the poisonous words of others and not take them on as truths about ourselves.

Physical abuse: If we've been abused by our parents (or anyone else) it takes a lot of effort to keep our spirits up and our anger down. Children that are physically abused usually abuse their own children because they think it's OK, or they just didn't deal with the hurt, humiliation and hate that accompanied the bruises.

If you're a victim of any of the above wrongs, you need to find people to lean on that will be there for you as you work through this stuff. Stay strong, and do not go down (or return to) a self-destructive path.

PS - If you've already started going down the road towards drugs, alcohol, sex or violence it's never too late to turn your life around. Your past does not define who are! The great thing about grace is that it makes life unfair.

God Loves Sex. Satan Loves Sex. I Love Sex. Discuss

I've been thinking about the power of sex, and its far-reaching implications in every aspect in our lives. You know, God made sex and He loves it because it brings two married people closer together. Satan loves sex too - because its power can be used to destroy us.

When I was in college, I hung out with self-described 'sluts' (both male and female) and got the opportunity to learn about sex and what it does to people who choose not to follow God's plan for sex. I was young, I was tired of 'religion' and I wanted to hang out with fun people so my 'posse' was the 'fun' crowd. Most of the people I hung out with were happy, bubbly and had a lot of sex (I was the odd ball that wouldn't put out, but I'll get to that later). When you got to the place where they'd open up in private about how their lives, most of them were wrecked with guilt, shame and regret over their lives; and to be honest I didn't understand their predicament. They were letting their body lead them, they satisfied every desire - how could they not be totally ecstatic about life? That brings me to the meat of my blog...

God Loves Sex
God made sex, and He wants us to have a lot of it - with our spouse. When God designed sex, He made a tool that would affect us in so many ways - physically, emotionally, psychologically, relationally and spiritually. God didn't give us any restrictions inside the marriage bed, we can do whatever we want! The sexual freedom is great, and the safety that marriage provides is breeding ground for experimentation (so don't listen to people who say sex with just one person is boring!).

Satan Loves Sex
Reviewing what we've already discussed, sex is powerful. It affects our entire persona, our entire being. The Enemy would love nothing more than to use it as a tool to destroy your life! Once you allow extra-marital sex into your life, you're in serious trouble. If you have sex before you're married, you will regret it - because you know you've done wrong (especially if you've been brought up in a religious environment). I don't need to warn you of the dangers, you know them already. Let's talk about the after-shock of immorality; the payments for your deeds. Most can rattle off the emotions that go through your mind after you're done (guilt, shame, etc) but we don't like talking about the long-term effects of sinful sex. I think that if the long-term effects of sinful sex weren't so destructive, Satan wouldn't care as much about getting us to fall in this area. The long-term effects include your children following in your footsteps, the memories, developing sexual habits that follow you into marriage (bringing your pre-determined ideas and/or favorites into your marriage could devestate your spouse) and multiple spiritual effects that I won't get in to.


Satan Hates Sex, Too
Satan hates sex because he hates successful marriages. God set up marriage as the foundation for societies, so Satan must destroy marriages to wreak havoc on society as a whole. One of his favorite targets is the marriage bed because of the power that it holds in our lives and the intimacy it develops between spouses. If you've given the enemy a foothold in your sex life, you need to watch out because he will attack your married sex life!

Your thoughts?

Poverty

I've been thinking about money a lot recently, and one of the main topics I've been contemplating is poverty - poverty in finances and poverty in Spirit. There are many reasons for financial poverty listed in the Bible: oppression (or fraud), misfortune, judgment, laziness, gluttony, and the acceptance of a life of poverty. All of these factors could arguably come as a direct result of your disobedience with your finances; for God commands us to give a portion of our finances away for His glory. One man put it, "poverty is holding on to your money" which may sound like an oxymoron to some, but upon further study of the Scriptures has a ring of truth to it.

One of the questions I posed to a friend who was complaining about lack of finances was, "How much money are you giving away, because I bet you need to give more away before you're blessed with more." The concept is ludicrous to those who do not understand the Biblical concept of financial wealth, but I have found it to be true in my own life.

One of the hardest lessons me and Kathy learned was to give out of our lack; or give when we have nothing to give. When I was unemployed for five weeks after moving back here on faith, I was confused and a little hurt that God would me in this situation. Kathy came up with a great idea (that I thought was a little nutty): "Let's give to God and thank Him for bringing us out here and taking care of us." I figured I'd try it, and God kept giving us great opportunities to give. After like ten interviews with no call-backs, the money dwindling to nothing and my hope almost gone, me and Kath decided to give half of our remaining monies to a friend in need. Soon afterwards (I think it was the day after) I got a call back and was hired at a *great* job! What's the lesson? You never 'do not have enough to give.' If you don't have enough to pay your bills, it's all the more reason to give!

Following the same line of reasoning, poverty in Spirit comes from not sharing what God's given you. Why would God bless you if you're unwilling to share His gifts with others? It is not in God's nature. There's so much more to say on this, but I have to get to work.

Please share your thoughts. I hope I didn't offend anyone but I pray I convicted at least one of my readers. ;)

Scientific Proof?

While browsing the most popular religion blogs I come across a lot of atheists' blogs talking about how their beliefs are founded in 'reason' and 'scientific proof'. I thought about that for a second, and how 'reasonable' their beliefs are.

If you do not believe in a higher power you must shrug off the impossibility of matter just existing (how'd it get there?). Once you've accepted that scientific impossibility, you must then develop the faith to believe that this matter was pulled together by a force (gravity) and then "exploded" (actually expanded) into becoming our universe, earth and all. Most will tell you there is some order to this expansion (known in your science textbooks as the 'Big Bang'), but they have no idea what makes the rules or sets the order (some refer to 'nature' as being a higher power).

Now let's talk about life on earth and how it got to be what it is today. Most evolutionists (they can be different from atheists) believe that earth started in a 'primordial soup' environment, and very basic atomic elements combined with other very basic atomic elements to form the first 'living' organism (probably a protein of some kind). These mutations were advanced by an energy unseen (probably the sun and/or lightning) and continued in a rapid succession on a path to advanced life forms.

Fast-forward a few million years and our earth is now filled with basic organisms. There is one thing missing: intelligence. Where does intelligence come from? Let's ignore this huge gap and continue on our evolutionary journey. We have now made the jump from the most basic of life forms to a fish (granted, this took somewhere in the neighborhood of millions of years). For this to be possible, there must be an addition to the gene pool of the specimen. You can not get a more advanced specimen without there being a positive, beneficial and gene-increasing mutation. How can an organism make its way down the evolutionary path without accumulating more information/materials/genetic structure? Has this transformation ever been witnessed in a scientific lab? No.

I could go on and dissect every claim, every necessity for the evolutionary tale to have some merit but I'll stop here.

Read more at evolutionisimpossible.com.

When You Say You Love Me

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

Thoughts that have gone through my mind recently

I do not have the intellectual capacity to fathom the enormity of God's goodness

I hope that one day I understand the magnitude of "All things are possible for those who believe"

Jesus Christ is perfect theology

I still have not figured out why, in the eyes of many Christians, homosexuals are evil and people who have sex before marriage are not

If you've accepted Christ as your Savior you are no longer a sinner; so please stop referring to yourself as one

The prayer, "None of me and all of you" is valid at its face, but before you were saved God had none of you and He didn't like it

If you're not looking at the past through the lens of Jesus' sacrifice and what He's done for you, you are deceiving yourself

Why is it that Christian funerals always include "it was their time to go"? Jesus messed up every funeral he ever attended, including His own! Maybe it wasn't their time, but no one has the faith to "raise them from the dead"?

The disciples in the Bible made a lot of funny mistakes that make me feel better about myself

Hearing someone intentionally living in sin say they are "really close with God" makes me laugh on the outside and cry on the inside

Every human being longs to be righteous, that's why a lot of abortion-supporters work to "save the Earth" as they cheer the premature end of babies lives.

If the world is applauding you, they are cheering on your self-destruction; if God is happy with you, you are on the right track

My Beloved

I have to take some time to throw a quick shout-out to my wife, Kathy. She has proven to be a reliable confidant, a great wife, a fantastic cook, a loving accountability partner, a selfless companion and a best friend. I love spending time with her, even if we're watching a movie. I look forward to coming home to her every day; and I love the quiet times we spend together. I'm proud to show her off to my friends and co-workers, and I can't wait to grow our family with her.

I love you Kathy.