What happens to you does not define who you are; how you react to the situations you're forced to deal with reveals who you are. We all have a tendency to want to overcome a wrong done to us by indulging in self-destructive behavior; but following these instincts will only lead to even more pain down the road. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I used to hang out with the 'bad' crowd and I'd often hear excuses like, "Well, this-and-this happened to me so I turned to [a self-destructive behavior] to numb the pain." Our self-prescribed sin medicines don't help us; but yet we continue to be drawn to them out of desperation or because society tells us these things help us overcome our pain.

I've outlined a few of the most common wrongs done to us and the self-destructive behaviors that tempt us following these events. The 'biggest' and 'baddest' compromises are drug use, sex, alcohol and violence but our temptations can also include equally devastating outlets such as a change in our mindset or walking away from God because of what's been done to us.

Divorce: After a divorce, the kids left over from it are left with a huge void in their lives that they look to fill with something, anything to numb the pain left by this betrayal. The mind-set the kids have to fight off is worthlessness and that somehow it's their fault.

Sexual Molesting: When one is taken advantage of for their sexuality, their worth as a person is devalued in their mind - you must fight this! Just because someone else only sees you as a sexual object you are so much more than that!

Mini-rant: When one person of the opposite sex (or same sex) touches you without invitation, you have been molested whether you are a guy or girl. Girl's unwelcome advances on guys are dismissed by society because guys 'like it' or 'just want to get laid' so the guys keep quiet to avoid being labeled a fag (or worse). Guys have to constantly fight society's message that we are nothing more than lustful animals looking for sex, because once we devalue sex and categorize it as only a physical act we are devaluing ourselves and breeding a negative mindset that will come to fruition once we are tempted again.

Being called names: Labels followed me around, trying to box me into these destructive mind-sets that something is wrong with me or that I am nothing more than a sexual being. We all have to overcome the poisonous words of others and not take them on as truths about ourselves.

Physical abuse: If we've been abused by our parents (or anyone else) it takes a lot of effort to keep our spirits up and our anger down. Children that are physically abused usually abuse their own children because they think it's OK, or they just didn't deal with the hurt, humiliation and hate that accompanied the bruises.

If you're a victim of any of the above wrongs, you need to find people to lean on that will be there for you as you work through this stuff. Stay strong, and do not go down (or return to) a self-destructive path.

PS - If you've already started going down the road towards drugs, alcohol, sex or violence it's never too late to turn your life around. Your past does not define who are! The great thing about grace is that it makes life unfair.