Since I got enagaged to the love of my life, many a conversation has turned to marriage. I have learned a lot about marriage (and people's conceptions of marriage) and decided to spill my guts a little bit; start an online discussion of marriage.
There are many good reasons to get married; and there are many good reasons to stay single your entire life. If you're a religious person, marriage is the only acceptable way to fulfill your sexual desires. No matter how religious you are, marriage is a union of two people, a life-time partnership between two people who have vowed to work together to please each other and make the best life for their new family. However, there is nothing more detrimental to a person's happiness, well-being and dream fulfillment than a bad marriage. If you feel like you'd make a terrible spouse or just wouldn't be happy getting married; you need to move forward from this point on like you are never going to get married.
There are also many *bad* reasons to get married; most of them surround the idea of selfishness - you want someone to fulfill your needs, cure your loneliness, satisfy your desires and never leave you. All of these desires aren't selfish, but your motives to get married may be. There are also bad reasons to stay single; if you can not control your lust it is better for you to be married, if you are afraid of commitment but are unhappy single you are in a serious pickle. It is right for you to be picky about whom you spend the rest of your life with, but if you demand a certain look coupled with an exact match of your life goals you are never going to find someone.
Lastly, I've found that if I wanted to wait to accomplish something until I was married I was being foolish and lazy. I can accomplish anything I want on my own; a partner would be there for support but the burden is still on my shoulders to accomplish my dream and/or destiny.
If you have thoughts on this, please share them with me either commenting my blog or emailing me at alex.branning@gmail.com. Oh, and check out AlexandKathy.com!
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2 comments:
When you're married you two are becoming one... Therefore you must respect both needs, desires and dreams. That means sacraficing some of your own, I think.
It's also important to make sure that you're both on the same page in these areas before even contemplating a Christian marriage: Expectations, goals (some may have to be compromised as Denny said), Personal Relationships with God, and social habits. Before Engagement happens, you gotta make sure you're ready for marriage, because believe me, when you're planning your wedding and you have that date set in stone, you're not gonna work on your relationship like you should.
-Kyle Ginn
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