Your mission, if you choose to accept it...

I've been reading the Purpose Driven Life lately and have really had my eyes opened to how much God can do through one person. I read the stories in the Bible about a single man changing a nation (Moses, Joshua, Jeremiah, David, the list goes on and on) and yet I have a disbelief that I could be one of those people. But you know what? I can be one of those people. If I give my life to God and let Him work through me there's no limit to what can be accomplished. So that got me thinking...

How do I find out what my mission is? There is a lot of work to be done in America, we are a depraved nation. Where does one start if the goal is to change America? Applying what I've read, I believe there's a few things to keep in mind:

1. I need to change myself. If I'm not “hopelessly devoted” to God and His work, then I'm useless. If I'm holding out or I don't have the faith necessary to accomplish what He's set out for me to do then I'll never get it done. God uses men in their weaknesses so that He can get the glory and not the mortal man; but to use us He has to control us.


2. Doubt has no place in the heart of the great men. David had no doubt that he was to kill Goliath, Joshua had no doubt he was going to take the Promised Land and Ezra had no doubt he was going to rebuild Israel.


3. Great things never get completed without others getting hurt. This is a touchy subject, but while I was reviewing the stories of the great men in the Scripture, people against God's will always got hurt. Egyptians drowned, the habitants of the Promised Land were slaughtered and Goliath died. Not to say death is always the result of God changing a nation, but there are those who don't want to see change and they will get hurt – and it may be people close to you that you're hurting. To accomplish the great, you may have to distance yourself from those you're close to so you can complete the task laid out before you.


4. With a great power comes a great responsibility. The people chosen to do God's work were given a great responsibility and, I believe, carried a greater burden. Changing a person takes a lot of work and lot of heartache – imagine the kind of struggle one goes through to change a nation!

Can America be saved?

God Only Uses Strong People

...or so I thought. Right now I am in a spiritually weak place so I was under the assumption God couldn't use me right now, I'd have to "get better" first. Well it just so happened I was reading "Purpose-Driven Life" on the train-ride to work and I was reading the chapter titled "God's Power in Your Weakness." I didn't think too much of the subject matter as I was reading it, I was trying to get the most out of the reading as I could. Well, before I got off the train the guy sitting next to me asked "So ya gettin' a lot out of that Purpose Driven book?" and we started talking about the meaning of life. I'll spare you the details of my sad attempt at witnessing, but I could tell my words touched him and hopefully got him thinking. In the chapter, Rick quoted a section of this passage:

1 Corinthians 1:27-29:
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

I was reminiscing about my past and when I felt most used by God, and everytime I've been used in a significant way (or felt like I was being used, one can be used by God without knowing it) I have felt like I must lean on Him. I knew everytime something powerful happened that it wasn't through my power or because of my greatness, but through His. Anything great or meaningful I accomplish can't come as a result of my own strengths or wisdom but from God, for what could the created possibly do that the Creator didn't design Him to do?

I Enter The Abyss of My Mind

Marriage is great; there are a lot of sacrifices you have to make (like dying to yourself, which isn't as traumatic or negative as it sounds) but they are all worth the countless rewards. In my experience, a lot I thought would be easy has turned out to be difficult and most of the things I thought would be difficult are easy; which goes to show I didn't know what to expect from marriage! :P

While I'm disappointed by the election results, I'm looking forward to watching the Democrats' circus act as they try and run things - it's already looking to be quite the show!

I wish politicians would spend more time worrying about alternative energy solutions and getting the homeless off the streets than bogus issues like flag burning amendments and the elections two years from now. If they spent as much time working to improve our security and quality of life as they currently do campaigning, they wouldn't have to campaign!

I respect an extremist who lives what they preach more than a "mainstream" citizen who doesn't do anything. Extremists who don't practice what they preach are easily ignored and usually mocked (Al Gore anyone?).

Sex is better than I could have imagined but not as important in life as I thought it'd be.

Now that they've come out with studies and videos showing fetuses experience pain after 20 weeks, it's time to criminalize abortion at least after that point (I support outlawing abortion outright but that wouldn't fly right now). I whole-heartedly think that a ballot initiative banning abortion after twenty weeks with exceptions for rape and incest would pass in California...am I crazy?

There's too much significance placed in the words of an entertainer; and way too much attention paid to the mundane details of these people's lives. So why do I click on the stories about them?

I've come to the conclusion that not only do you become your friends, but you become what you hate.

Dying to yourself could be a good thing if you were selfish to begin with. Letting your dreams die would be a shame, don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams because settling for less won't make anyone happy.

If your significant other wants to leave, let them. If your relationship is as good as you think it is or your love as powerful as you say, they'll be back.

Sometimes you need to release your grip completely so your bond can get stronger.

There's a lot of things about God that I intellectually understand but emotionally don't like, for example I don't like all the pain and suffering the world but I realize it's completely necessary.

That's all for now! Oh, we're moving back to Cali in January (depending on me finding a job out there).

California Here We Come...sometime

Me and Kathy have decided to accelerate our plans to move back to California. We are going to be looking for jobs out there for both of us, and as soon as we feel the time is right we're moving back. That could be in January, it could be in March, it could be in June like we originally planned.

Why are we looking to move so soon? We were staying in Chicago for two reasons; the first is so Kath can have a slow, gradual withdrawal from her community out here and the second was money - we're both making good money out here. However, Kathy's friends have all grown busy and just don't have time for her anymore so the withdrawal process has already begun. Kathy came to me this weekend and said "I'm ready to move back if you are." I was willing to wait until June to move back to California, I did not want to rush Kathy out of her adopted hometown before she was ready to leave.

Please pray for us to find jobs out in California; and not just any job but a job where we can grow and enjoy going to work (at least most of the time).

Oh and yes, the March wedding is still on! :)

Home for the Holidays - News and Thoughts

So me and my gorgeous wife are going to travel back to California for Christmas and my sister's wedding (she gets married on the 22nd). I'm really looking forward to seeing my family again and hanging out with some friends while I'm out there!

As I was listening to the song "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays" the place that came up in my mind as "home" wasn't Lancaster. It wasn't Chicago, either. It was with Kathy. Kathy's my family now, Kathy's where I go when I need to be comforted, Kathy's where I turn to when I'm need to be picked up (love you baby!).

Me and Kath have our tree up, it's looking great. Kathy decorated it (and the rest of the house), everything's so cheery! :)

That's all for now!

Perfect Wedding

So I got married two weeks ago today on November 3rd, 2006. It was a beautiful day on the west coast, a dry 75 degrees or so. I had a hard time getting dressed for the day, I was incredibly nervous! The day didn't start smooth, my step-brother was late and my mother-in-law's car broke down at her son's house so we had to take a slight detour to pick them up. Nothing could get in the way of my joy though, I was overwhelmingly joyous and so excited for the day's events!

After an eventful drive complete with walkie-talkie conversations, racing Ferraris (eight of them!) and an animated little sister telling me about her upcoming wedding day, we arrived in Las Vegas around 2:45 in the afternoon. Me and Kathy raced into the Marriage Bureau and turned in our already filled-out paperwork (cheers for an organized bride) and dashed back out to the cars waiting for us. We did our best but we couldn't quite make it to the church on time, we rolled in about a half-hour late. Again, nothing could keep me from feeling an overwhelming joy, I was so happy this was happening and was really excited about the days, weeks and years to come - I wasn't going to let a little tardiness ruin my day!

Everyone made their way into the church and we all took our places, I stood in the front of the sanctuary with our Pastor and waited for my bride to enter the church. The Wedding March began and the doors flung open, and in walked the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Tears started streaming down my face (my eyes are getting misty as I write this) and Kathy walked up next to me and grabbed my hand as the Pastor instructed. The tears wouldn't stop flowing for me, my vows ended up to be a blubbering version of the original, and Kathy could barely get her vows out she was crying so hard. I didn't even notice my step-dad recording or the flashing of the cameras, my eyes were locked on my princess. The Pastor did a great job of incorporating our faith into the ceremony and he gave a very brief sermon then pronounced us husband and wife! We left the church and made our way (ever so slowly) to our restaurant of choice and then quickly went back to California. I won't tell you what happened next. ;)

So the wedding was perfect, the bride was beautiful and the groom was a blubbering fool. But isn't that what it's all about?

Christianity and Politics

There is a huge dividing line in the church over how deep Christians should go in the political process. On one extreme there's the group of Christians that are hesitant to vote; and on the other side there are Christians who want to overwhelm the political landscape with Christian leaders and politicians. Which side is right? Is there a right side? What does the Bible say about it?

First, there are some major flaws in the "stay out of the world" approach to politics. If Christians don't get involved in politics then only the secular people will vote and influence our country - I don't think that's what God wants for us. Some of the people in this camp will misquote Jesus' quote when he says "give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's." Christ was talking about doing your duty as a citizen and paying your taxes, He wasn't stumping for His followers to withdraw from the political process!

When it comes to actually becoming a politician, the waters get a little murkier. To be a Christian politician is a very difficult task, for you must follow God's standards for Christian living while trying to win in a political system that encourages lying, cheating, humiliation and slander. If you want to look for a Christian politician who's been corrupted by our system, look no further than our President.

I'm seriously considering running for office of some kind, I'm just not sure what office or when. Do you have any thoughts to share on Christian politicians?

Peace Like a River

There are many ways the Holy Spirit communicates with us; one of His names is Comforter (N: "To soothe in time of affliction or distress"). My decision to move up our wedding date has drawn some negative opinions and worrisome inquiries; but through it all I've felt a strong peace; an unwavering comfort that this is what me and Kathy should be doing.

Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Temptation, or, "So you think you're good enough?"

I have been through the experience of thinking I'm a good person, that my Christianity (and in essence my deeds) are enough to warrant me the label of "Good Human Being". I was sadly mistaken. I think I fell into the same trap many other Christians do; thinking that our lack of "big" sins like sexual infidelity, drugs or the other notorious sins makes me a good Christian.

Reality sets in after we try to be good. Have you ever tried to put an end to a habitual sin, whether it be something "small" like lying or something "big" like sexual sin? It's hard; no, it's impossible to do under your own strength.

I'll end this short post with a quote from CS Lewis:
"No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means--the only complete realist."

Headship in Marriage

One of the most controversial teachings in the Scriptures is the idea of the husband being the head in the marriage; this heirarchy structure has been ridiculed and scorned as being sexist and degrading to women while giving men an excuse for a power trip. With the help of a book I'm reading; I've really started to develop a better idea of what this heirarchy is supposed to look like and how each spouse plays a role in making it work.

The husband needs to be given respect to affirm his manhood; but he can't demand it. He needs to earn his respect, his role in the marriage is a God-given responsibility and he needs to stand up to the challenge and not abuse his role. There are men that want to rule their house like a dictatorship, there are men that want to rule as kings, and there are men that want to rule as the Boss in the home. But the husbands are meant to be like Christ, and to lead like Christ led. Christ led through servanthood, and in return his disciples obeyed Him and His followers respected Him.

The wife has responsibilities as well, her role in the home is equally as important and equally as valuable. She needs to uplift and encourage her husband; for what good is a husband without self-esteem or confidence in his decisions? She also needs to respect her husband and show that respect in tangible ways so that the husband knows he's being respected, men need respect more than they need love.

Both partners have a responsibility to encourage the other, motivate the other in their spiritual walks and keep each other accountable. Neither spouse has a greater or lesser role in the relationship; but they have different roles and different responsibilities.

Things I love about Chicago

As much as I complain about being out here in Illinois and not being able to see my friends and family back home, there are some things about Chicago that I absolutely love!

1) The skyline. When I get off the train, I get to see the Hancock Tower; on my way to work I pass by numerous buildings engraved in history, and the Sears Tower can be seen from my window. It's awesome!

2) The clean air. For a big city, Chicago's air is amazingly clean. It's never hard to catch a full breath out here, like it is in LA.

3) The food! Chicago is famous for its food, and rightfully so! The deep-dish pizzas are amazing and they have some of the best restaurants I have ever been to.

4) The church. We have a great church out here, I love the Evanston Vineyard. The worship is great, the Spirit is really moving in that church and there's a lot of wisdom in the people.

5) The girl. I get to see Kathy every day! Yay!

6) The job. I love my job. I don't think I'll ever find a job with this mix of relaxation, challenge, comfort and encouragement that I find in this job. It's great.

Of course, I'm very excited to move back to California; but I wanted to share some of the really positive things about Chi-town! :)

1 Peter 3:7

"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."

This verse blew me away. If I am getting the correct interpretation it says that if the husband doesn't treat his wife with understanding and honor his prayers will be hindered! The way a man treats his wife directly relates to how his Lord responds to his prayers! As I reflected on this verse, I was trying to form a definition of the word honor, but couldn't quite come up with anything. So I found an online dictionary and this is what I found [definitions unrelated to marriage have been omitted]:

hon‧or
1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions: a man of honor.
2. a source of credit or distinction: to be an honor to one's family.
3. high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: to be held in honor.
5. high public esteem; fame; glory: He has earned his position of honor.
13. to hold in honor or high respect;
14. to treat with honor.

So if I do not treat my wife with honesty, fairness, respect, and am not an integrous husband my prayers will be hindered. I have to get to work, but this passage is amazing!

Christ Talking About Marriage

...[A]t the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

This block of verses packs a lot of punch; we learn a lot about what God thinks about marriage. I'll analyze each phrase:

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife"
When the time comes to get married; the man (me) needs to leave his previous family and start a new family with his wife. I think that "leaving his father and mother" is not only implying the physical location but also the level of emotional attachment to the previous family. I am now not supposed to rely on Mom and Dad for support and encouragement, I need to rely on my wife.

"and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one"
The idea of two people becoming one flesh is a deep topic; I may address it later. There are also implications for a sexually active individual and the things an unrepentant sexually active person brings into a marriage.

"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
I believe Christ is not only addressing divorce, but adultrey and seperation as well. If one of the partners is adulterous in action or thought, they have put a huge wedge into the relationship; seperating the two people in marriage.

Why I'm (Still) Living in Illinois

Many of my closest friends back home have all asked me why I am still living in Illinois. There are many good reasons to question my decision to live out here; I've faced many challenges and my spiritual life has been dealt many self-inflicted setbacks. I wanted to post my reasoning for staying out here, they are put in order of most importance:

Reason 1: God's Call
I believe God called me out here; and I believe God gave me a specific date to come back (June of next year). Since I have heard what I interpreted to be God's voice on both occasions, and the commands were very specific, I am obeying. Me and Kathy are moving back in June of next year, the only reason I would move back sooner is if me and Kathy fell into sexual sin (we would need to be apart to purify ourselves for marriage).

Reason 2: Running From My Issues Won't Help
Yes, I have faced many uphill battles out here; and I've lost quite a few. I have been tempted with new pleasures, enticed by new opportunities and teased with new adventures. My actions have resulted in numerous spiritual setbacks and a lot of pain; but if I ran from them I would confront them again in California. God has told me to stay out here, he wants me to fight these battles in an uncomfortable "War Zone" away from my support system. I don't know why, but He does.

Reason 3: I Promised Kathy I Would Stay
I promised Kathy I would stay out here while we were engaged, unless we fell into sexual sin. Period.

Bumps in the road of life

The road less travelled isn't as smooth as the wide road

Jealousy

There are many irrational emotions we all feel from day-to-day, all of them begin as something small but left unchecked can become an all-consuming vacuum on our minds. One of the strongest of these is jealousy.

Jealousy is a trait of our LORD (Exod. 20:5 - "I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God") and He is consumed by jealousy for our love; and I'm afraid men on earth can take on the same attitude. The difference is God is love; He embodies love and His love is unconditional. Men on earth are evil, and jealousy leads them to do harmful things when consumed by jealousy's ever-wanting flame (Prov 6:34 - "jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge"). In fact, jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, and is listed as an act of one living in sin in Galatians 5:19-21:

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like."

How does one overcome this? I found a great quote online:

"Deal with reality
Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive to be happening because with time, you may end up having difficulty distinguishing fact from fiction, and you don't want to kill an otherwise perfect relationship over things that never really happened. Don't let your imagination dictate the kind of person she really is."

As you may have guessed, I am struggling with jealousy. I've never dealt with this before, so these feelings are foreign and I lack the knowledge to fight back. Please don't leave a comment, email me with any notes or tips you have.

Update on my life

Unfortunately I can't pick up the phone and call everyone back home and let them know how I'm doing, so this blog will have to suffice for now. In short, I'm doing *great*! I have a great job with a Christian boss from church and a Christian co-worker; the job is challenging, lucrative, entertaining, fun and I'm learning a lot! So that's a blessing for sure! I'm working at a small company called Mbira, they run multiple web sites that sell musical equipment (zzounds.com, samedaymusic.com, etc).

The church me and Kathy attend has been nice, the teaching's good and the community has been, in general, supportive. We were involved in a house group but that fell through; and my summertime men's group ended so right now we just attend church on Sundays and Kathy has a women's group on Sunday mornings.

My social life out here is dead, and that's sugar-coating it. I have no close friends, I have very little acquaintances, and I am hardly ever invited to go anywhere. However, I don't actually think that is a negative thing! Me and Kathy have had a *lot* of time to work through issues, bond, seek elder's counsel and just spend time with each other. My business has picked up since I left so I get to come home from my web designing job to do more web designing - gotta pay for the wedding!

Speaking of the wedding, things are coming along very smoothly. We have our location for the ceremony and reception paid for, we have our officiant, Kathy's dress and everything is planned out!! I am so relieved to have the hard stuff done with, now I just have to pay for everything - which God is providing for. Kathy will (hopefully) move out of her apartment in December (we need to find a replacement roommate) and I will move in with her after we get married. We will be moving back to California in the summer, most likely in June but that may get pushed back a month or two.

So that's the update! :) Oh, if you are a musician, I can hook you up with some amazing deals on equipment! Let me know what you want from the web site...

Thoughts Bounce Around

- Why do people complain about something they can easily change?
- Why do people complain about something they can never change?

- The President of NARAL (a very large pro-choice organization) attempted to make the case that her beliefs are not anti-religious. It made me laugh

- The only thing standing between us and a life of sin is our conscience. Guard your conscience, it may be the last thing that can save you.

- Criticism given with the intent of building a person's character should be welcomed. Criticism given with the intent to harm another should be shunned.

- Running away from your goals is as bad as only walking towards them.

- The moment you give up on improving yourself, you begin the long slide downhill.

- People who give up on their friends gave up on themselves first.

Marriage

Since I got enagaged to the love of my life, many a conversation has turned to marriage. I have learned a lot about marriage (and people's conceptions of marriage) and decided to spill my guts a little bit; start an online discussion of marriage.

There are many good reasons to get married; and there are many good reasons to stay single your entire life. If you're a religious person, marriage is the only acceptable way to fulfill your sexual desires. No matter how religious you are, marriage is a union of two people, a life-time partnership between two people who have vowed to work together to please each other and make the best life for their new family. However, there is nothing more detrimental to a person's happiness, well-being and dream fulfillment than a bad marriage. If you feel like you'd make a terrible spouse or just wouldn't be happy getting married; you need to move forward from this point on like you are never going to get married.

There are also many *bad* reasons to get married; most of them surround the idea of selfishness - you want someone to fulfill your needs, cure your loneliness, satisfy your desires and never leave you. All of these desires aren't selfish, but your motives to get married may be. There are also bad reasons to stay single; if you can not control your lust it is better for you to be married, if you are afraid of commitment but are unhappy single you are in a serious pickle. It is right for you to be picky about whom you spend the rest of your life with, but if you demand a certain look coupled with an exact match of your life goals you are never going to find someone.

Lastly, I've found that if I wanted to wait to accomplish something until I was married I was being foolish and lazy. I can accomplish anything I want on my own; a partner would be there for support but the burden is still on my shoulders to accomplish my dream and/or destiny.

If you have thoughts on this, please share them with me either commenting my blog or emailing me at alex.branning@gmail.com. Oh, and check out AlexandKathy.com!

"But you live to fight another day"

The Thing About Me
I always find myself thinking
Of the way things should play out
Imagination sees only what it wants
And memories jump in to taunt
You know there's a chance out of two
That it can play out a certain way for you
So you dream of your victory
And raise your arms triumphantly
You've acheived it all
But back to reality you fall
Even if you win, you still lose
But you live to fight another day
- Written by Denny Love

When I moved here I had this fantasy of how things were going to play out in Chicago. Nothing has turned out the way I thought it would - but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Many things have turned out better than I could have dreamed; but I've faced struggles I could never have imagined. But I'm still here, I haven't given up, and I'm going to fight another day to be the man I want to be.

What a Change

I came to Chicago excited about the future and excited about the spiritual growth I'll experience.

Now I'm hoping to one day return to the spiritual level I was at when I got here.

It'll be a long climb back up...

Your Love oh LORD, Reaches to the Heavens

“When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”- Psalm 94:18-19

God's love is amazing. On my way to work today I was reflecting on how loving God is, even when we fall. If we throw ourselves down in to the pit of sin, God's still there beside us, offering His hand to help us back up.

His mercy is endless, His grace is abundant and His forgiveness is sincere. Wow.

A lot of questions...

Why walk when you can run?

Why survive when you can thrive?

Why have a small wedding when you can have a huge wedding?

Why be content with unhappiness or shortcomings?

Why give up when you know you can persevere?

Why give only half of your effort?

Why don't you improve yourself?

What is Love?

There are many different ways to categorize love. I'll focus this blog on one way to categorize love: selfish love and selfless love.

Selfish love is your love for something because it gives you pleasure, comfort or security. I love soft tacos. I love money (in a healthy way). I love having a steady job. These are all selfish loves, I would only give up something of lesser value to me for a soft taco, more money or a better job. I wouldn't pay more than five dollars for a taco; I wouldn't compromise my morals for more money and I wouldn't move away from loved ones for a better job.

Selfless love is something entirely different; selfless love means you lay down your pride and selfishness to do something for another person. You can witness selfless love is Christs' death, a friend going out of his way to help you or marriage on a day-to-day basis.

Marriage is a unique love; you are becoming one with another person. Your decisions no longer affect yourself, they affect you and the one you love. Your mistakes, your issues, your downfalls, your blessings, your gifts and the risks you take no longer affect just you - they also affect the one you love. You must be selfless to have a successful marriage. This is not to say that you must be a doormat or forfeit your desires, but now you must take into consideration what affect your dream-chasing is going to have on your love.

Please, share your thoughts with me.

Discerning Advice, Discovering Wisdom, Discarding Opinion

During the course of me and Kathy's relationship we have been blessed continually by people taking the time to share their hearts with us and pass on some of their thoughts regarding our relationship. The hard part is what to do with the ideas or concerns expressed to us. Now that me and Kathy have taken the next step and are on our way to marriage, the words of wisdom are pouring in! We get thoughts on how to stay pure, what married life is going to be like, how we're going to change, what kind of reception we should have, and dozens of other topics. We talk about a majority of the conversations we have with others and talk about how we can incorporate that wisdom into our relationship.

However, there are a few things that people say that we don't agree with and do not follow. If we do not follow through with your advice or adhere to your guidelines for our relationship, neither one of us is minimizing your input or devaluing your friendship. We both sincerely want to hear your thoughts so we can continue to improve and refine our relationship and plan the best wedding we can!

The Process of Going from Man to Husband

I am going to be a husband in eight months from now. The emotions that I'm feeling range from exuberance to depression to anxiety and fear. This is going to be the biggest change in my life up to this point. I've been doing a lot of thinking as to what has to happen for me to make this transition in my mind and my attitude.

My actions are now going to start affecting myself and another person. My mistakes harm me and my wife. Any blessings that touch me now also bless my wife. Any risks I take also put my wife at risk at well. I'm used to having the ability to "go all in" when I see potential, I won't be able to do that because someone else's well being depends on my decisions.

The last month and a half has been a growing experience, I've been stretched more than I could have possibly imagined. God's shown me His power, His mercy, His grace and His love. The community around me has shown me what a Christian community is by convicting me of my wrongdoings and loving me even though I fall.

The next eight months are going to be a wild ride...

Talk sense into me!

Why should me and Kathy wait until next year to get married?

We started joking around with the idea of getting married in September-but I can't think of a reason NOT to! Anyone? Talk some sense into me! alex.branning@gmail.com

A Little Story of Our Big Night

I took Kathy out to dinner at the local Outback restaurant for our five-monthiversary. My original plan was to sing to her in the restaurant and propose in front of all the diners eating - but I just wasn't feeling it as the night went on. So after we ate our amazing steak dinner (me and Kath are both lovers of steak) I took her to the Botanical Gardens to "walk around."

We walked around and enjoyed the scenery, oohing and ahhing over the flowers - and then I found it. The perfect spot to propose; an enchanting little, circular area surrounded by flowers with two "love seats" on the outside and a statue in the middle. We sat down on one of the love seats and then I said "Oh! I want to sing to you..."

I got up to sing her our song (If You're Not the One by Daniel Bedingfield)..and froze! I had a hard time breathing, I was SOOO nervous. After I mustered up the courage, I sang her the first eight lines of the song-that's all I remembered. I didn't sound that good, but she was beaming. I brought her up for a hug, we embraced for a few minutes, then I got the ring out of my pocket and got down on one knee. I said:

"Kathy. I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to go to sleep looking at you, wake up next to you, and live my life with you. Will you marry me?"

And then I brought out the ring - and started to put it on the wrong hand!! *blush* She laughed, led me to the right finger, and the ring slid on perfectly. It was so great!

A little clarification on my last post

The reason I'm publically stating me and Kathy's previous problems and our new boundaries is to increase the transparency and openness of our relationship. Kathy is a leader in a minstry that demands transparency and accountability; I am involved in a men's group that promotes honesty about the struggles we're facing.

Some have expressed concern that by publishing our problems we are opening ourselves up to "attack" by people with ulterior motives. We can't act based on what-if scenarios or let fear hold us back on what we know we should do.

Why I'm Still Dating Kathy

Over the past four months my relationship with Kathy has consistently come under scrutiny; most of it has been legitimate concerns but there's been some negative banter sprinkled in there from people with ulterior motives. My move out here and me and Kathy's struggles have caused the volume of the concerns to rise, so I figured I would address some of the many concerns in a blog so I can write out my answers and have a digital "round table" discussion with my friends.

Concern #1: My Move Out Here
There were numerous concerns raised by my move out here, most of which have been disproven over time. The most prevalent concern was I am "ceding control" of our relationship by moving out here. The underlying reasoning is that by me moving out here and changing my life for our relationship that I was assuming the "submissive" role and bowing down to Kathy's desires. The first flaw in this argument is that Kathy didn't ask me to come, I took the initiative; secondly me and Kathy are not in a "betrothed" relationship so there are no submissive roles. If me and Kathy were married (or one could argue once we're engaged) then my leadership role becomes more clearly defined. As it stands right now me and Kathy are two individuals in a committed relationship getting to know each other and exploring the possibility of marriage, so the marriage roles aren't in effect. I have to earn Kathy's trust and respect so that I will have her trust and respect once we have entered into the marriage relationship. I don't want to have to demand her respect, I want to earn it over time - starting now. My move out here displayed my sacrificial love and servant's heart, she can see that I'm serious about her and I'm serious about us. I am doing what it takes to win her heart and to further our relationship.

Concern #2: Our Physical Relations
For those of you in the know, me and Kathy have been struggling a little bit in our physical relationship. Many people have questioned my leadership in the relationship and whether or not I can rescue our relationship from the slippery slope we're on now. To those of you who have expressed concern: you have every right to worry. Me and Kathy are working vigilantly to purify our relationship, and we are taking the necessary steps in order to save our relationship and make it pleasing to God. I have surrounded myself with community, both here in Evanston and back home in the Antelope Valley. Me and Kathy have set new boundaries, which I will share with you at the end of this blog. We're going to be starting pre-engagement counseling as soon as possible and will be working together to restore our relationship's purity.

So that's the update, I hope that answers your questions and calms your worries. If you have more questions that you want me to answer, post them here and I'll answer them - as long as they have nothing to do with weddings and engagement plans! ;)

Me and Kathy's Boundaries:
No alone time in a bedroom for longer than fifteen minutes
No "petting" on or around private areas - we need to work not to arouse the other

Where You lead me, I will follow...so go ahead and lead me now!

As I was worshipping last night to a worship song with the words, "Lead me Lord and I will follow, Lead me Lord and I'll go" I started reflecting on my life and what those words mean. I believe I've been able to "hear" God's voice the past five years of my life, and when I believe He's instructing me I tend to obey with little hesitation. He wanted me to quit my job and start my business, done; He wanted me to change my wardrobe and music, done; He wanted me to use all my profits for Evolution Is Impossible, done; He wanted me to drop everything and move to Evanston, done.

Now I'm in Evanston and wondering what's next. What is God going to do with me and Kathy? What is God going to do with my spiritual walk? What is God going to teach me out here? What's next? I know that Evanston is a temporary thing and I'm supposed to be moving back to California sometime, but when is that time?

Me and Kathy are starting to talk where we'd live if we got married. There's really only two options at this point: Evanston and the Antelope Valley. In lieu of a clear direction from God, how does one decide where to live? I think the best way to decide where God wants you is to find out where you would best be used. If I can be better used in Evanston, I need to stay here. Another way to figure out where God wants you to live is to decide where you'll grow more in your walk with God; if you're in a stagnant place in your walk with God the best thing for you to do may be to move (although this is a very extreme way of shaking up your life!).

I am desperately searching for answers, especially now that things seem to be pulling me in both directions! I just got a new job out here in Evanston, Kath just got a raise and a promotion. I'm learning new things out here and my spiritual walk has been given new life. Me and Kath have gotten much closer as a couple and really strengthened our relationship. But there's a job opening for me in the Antelope Valley in September, Kathy's rent is up in September and I feel like the ministry opportunities out here are lacking a little bit for me and Kath.

These times of confusion are really the most exciting times because they make you lean on God, if you have no stability you're forced to lean on the Rock.

How's Chicago?

I want to give y'all a run-down of what's been happening in Chicago (actually Evanston, directly north of Chicago), Illinois. Well, I got in here late Friday night and just crashed on Kathy's couch. We were pretty pooped, spending three days in a car will wipe you out! We spent all day Saturday at a wedding, decorating for it in the morning and enjoying the festivites in the afternoon. Seriously, weddings are becoming a theme of our relationship: we met at a wedding and now we spent our first day together in the same city at a wedding! Crazy!

The wedding went great, we had a great time dancing and hanging out with her friends. It's weird for me right now because all of the social situations I'm in are new social situations, I don't really know anyone really well yet. But more on that later....

Sunday was my first church service at Evanston Vineyard (Kathy's church) and it was great. I got to meet more people, we had some great worship and made it through a rather boring sermon on Prayer. Sunday afternoon was our first opportunity to just hang out, we set up my apartment and got me all unpacked. It was sweet. At church, a guy that I met before I moved out here (Tommy) gave me an air mattress and pump - what a life-saver!

Monday was my first weekday in Evanston. I spent the majority of the day looking for a job, finishing up my apartment and getting to know Evanston. It was really relaxing! Monday night I attended my first meeting of a Men's Group I was invited to; the topic of the Men's Group is relationships - perfect, I know! Anyway, it was really cool and I feel like I started to bond with some of the guys out here.

Tuesday was a real work day, I was very determined to get things accomplished. I did more job-hunting, returned a lot of calls and caught up on my emails. Nothing really exciting happened, but in the afternoon Kath started coming down with a real bad stomach pain that would keep her at home all day Wednesday. I spent a large part of Wednesday just babying Kath and getting her well again so she could go back to work on Thursday.

I went with her to Downers Grove (the city she works in) on Thursday to spend the day down there, just relaxing. I needed a day where I had nothing to do, and this was a good opportunity for me to do that. I spent the morning reading Ann Coulter's new book at the local Barnes and Noble, had lunch with Kath and spent the afternoon at the local library. Sweet! Then last night me and Kath went to the local mall just to try on clothes and hang out. It was really fun!

I feel like the Lord is blessing my socks off out here. I've really connected with some guys out here and it's only been a week. I feel like I'm starting to become a part of the community out here, I feel like I belong. Kath has done a great job introducing me to people and letting me make my own connections and establish myself as an individual. This move has already really strengthened me and Kath's relationship and brought us closer together as a team and as a unit. I miss you guys in the Antelope Valley, but I know God has something really special for me out here - I just don't know what yet. :)

Headed on the Highway, Looking for Adventure!

This is a day-by-day recollection of me and Kath's crazy journey across the country! Sit back and enjoy...

Wednesday:
We left Wednesday morning about five in the morning. We packed the previous night, my poor little Saturn (later named Willy) was packed to the brim! Before I left my mom gave me a tearful good-bye and me and Kath were off, driving into the sunrise. The drive started off very easy and we got out of California without any difficulty.
We enterered Nevada when the sun was still rising and got into Vegas about ten. Kath had never seen Vegas before so we stopped and walked the strip. More on our Vegas trip later, we did something a little crazy.
We got out of Vegas and headed east towards Utah. Nevada's actually a really boring state once you get past Vegas! There's really nothing there except a few small towns...disappointing! Me and Kath were in Utah for about 400 miles and saw maybe five or six towns. It wasn't uncommon for us to see a sign saying "Salinas next right - no services next 100 miles." To say Utah was a barren wasteland is being very nice. We *did* get some good tanning in some National Forest in Utah, it was sweet! We were eager to get out of Utah and into civilation, but we kept stopping to take in the sights so we ended the day about four hours behind schedule and got out of Utah around nine. We stopped at a Super8 motel and went to bed.

Thursday:
We got back on the road about nine in the morning and headed east. We hit the Rockies around noon, the mountains were gorgeous! The ski season had recently ended so there were waterfalls around almost every corner, it was a very romantic drive. We stopped to see one of Kath's old friends in a nearby town, stayed for about an hour and then took off. Well, Kath's friend gave bad directions so we ended up losing an hour. We barely got out of Colorado before the day was over and stayed in a podunk town in Nebraska called...Ogallala! There's a great hotel there called "Grey Goose Lodge" that provided free breakfast, an outdoor pool and double beds. It was sweet! We got a great night's sleep...

Friday:
Our last day on the road! We were excited to get back to Illinois, but we were having a blast the entire trip! We both like to sing at the drop of a hat, so we would break out in an appropriate song with great comedic timing. We were having a great time just enjoying each other's company! We were having some great conversations, we made a lot of progress in our relationship and got to know each other a lot better. Anyway, so we got through the bajillion cornfields in Nebraska and entered Iowa about lunchtime. Iowa was lame. We got to Illinois around six-ish and grabbed some chinese food for dinner. We could taste home, so we kept going. We finally arrived at Kath's house at nine on Friday night. Pictures to follow!

"Red Bull" Christians

Studying Acts 13, we see some awesome church growth and great examples of what it means to be a powerful Christian. The first thing I noticed is that the believers were high-performance believers! The first church had a *vision* and a plan for action. Churches must have a vision if they want to see success, energy not directed is energy wasted. This principle applies in our personal lives as well, more on that later.

The early church persevered in the face of defeat, they wouldn't allow setbacks to deter them from their mission. How easy it is to give up in the face of trials, throw up our hands when we sense we may lose or walk away when the going is a little tougher than we thought. The early church didn't exist to survive, it's purpose was to thrive! One of the most common traps Christians face is the attitude of complacency: "I'm doing great! I'll stay just like this." After one victory, the church moved on to win more battles; they never stood still on the battlefield for souls. They overcame the heartaches, they overcame the defeats and they overcame the persecution. They were winners with the mindset of a winner, they lived Romans 8:28, they knew they were made to be victorious!

Revelation 21:7 - God rewards those who overcome
1 Cor 15:57 - God gives us victory!
Revelation 2:26 - God gives authority to those that overcome
Romans 8:37 - We are more than conquerors, we are victors!

To become powerful Christians we must wholeheartedly believe what we live. At first glance, you may think: "Believe what we live or live what we believe?" Those of us that have given our lives to Christ attempt to live according to His Word; but I fear some of us don't wholeheartedly believe what it says. We read that we are victors, we strive to survive instead of thrive; we read God wants us to be prosperous, we're content with our measly wages; and we read that we are being watched over and taken care of, yet we worry about tomorrow. We read in James 1 that double-mindedness, or doubts, cause us to lose blessings from the Lord. Doubters never prosper.

Lastly, you know if you're not living a powerful Christian walk if you're not evangelizing. What Christianity are you living if it's not exciting enough to tell others about? I leave you with this passage from 1 Peter 1:5-9:

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

Five years ago

Twenty-five things about me five years that are no longer true now! I was seventeen years old...

1. I hated my job
2. I had very few friends
3. I was depressed....very depressed
4. My goal in life was to become rich and powerful
5. I didn't enjoy church
6. I was lonely
7. I was afraid of love (and pretty much any other positive emotion)
8. I looked at porn daily
9. I drove a Ford Escort
10. I was fat
11. I felt ugly
12. I was shy around women because I was fat and ugly
13. I drank close to two liters of Moutain Dew every day
14. I didn't respect my parents
15. I didn't care about what anyone thought of me
16. I had very poor spending habits
17. I enjoyed hurting women so they could feel the pain my mom caused me
18. Me and Denny weren't close friends; I hadn't even met Kyle yet
19. I didn't want God's plan for my life - and I didn't even know what it was!
20. I cussed a lot
21. I lacked confidence in myself, but I was cocky about my abilities
22. I was angry
23. I didn't want accountability, I thought I enjoyed my life and didn't want change
24. I had no peace...
25. I had no love in my life; love was foreign to me.

At 18 years old I turned my life over to Christ and everything changed.

Bye Bye Lancaster

A part of me passed away today
The part of me that pushed you away
The little voice that told me "No"
The caution that told me not to go

That part of me is gone, for now
I wanted to hold back but I didn't know how
I was afraid of the pain you'd bring
Terrified you'd make my cry again

But now I know what true love is like
Everything about us just feels so right
I hope I'm not wrong about you
I hope your love is nothing but true

Cuz I've got nothing left, I've given all to you
I have no regrets about what I'm about to do
Leaving the world as I know it
Don't know how else to show it
I love you with all of my heart

Don't let this become reality

I'm standing at your grave today
You're going down in the ground
I'm sorry I couldn't help take your pain away
I guess it's a week too late now
I was always there for you even though I was away
You should've just picked up the phone
Left a message, vented a little, would've been ok
I'm fighting the tears, holding them inside
This hurts so much to see you go like this
Why did you have to take your own life?

The emotions flow from one side to the other
I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm confused and pissed at you
We were best friends, no we were like brothers
I never left your side, my friendship was true
This is how it had to end
I scream inside, Why! I hate you!
It's a lie, I never hated I was always loving you
Even when you were unloveable and cruel
You knew I was always going to be there for you
You would've liked to see the pain you caused today
It would make you realize you were loved, in a sick way
But now it's over, this is the end
I'm the last to leave your side even though you're gone
I was, and will always be, your best friend

Christian pick up lines

My blog needs some loving, so here's a fluffy blog for ya...

1. Nice bible.

2. You know Jesus? Hey, me too!

3. No, I'm not coveting. I intend to make you mine.

4. I've prayed about it and God wants you to go out with me.

5. I know a great church where we could go and talk.

6. Has anyone ever told you, your eyes are like doves and your neck like the tower of David?

7. Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.

9. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

10. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

11. I just don't feel called to celibacy.

12. Hey..for you I'd work seven years. Oh, yeah, and seven more for your sister!

13. The Bible says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry".... so how about dinner?

14. I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date.

15. You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?

16. You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa. (DO NOT get this one confused!)

17. What do you think Paul meant when he said, "Greet everyone with a holy kiss"?

18. Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin.

19. Do you believe in Divine appointment?

20. You know, I'm really into relationship evangelism.

21. Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.

22. My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.

23. Before tonight, I never believed in predestination...

24. I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight.

25. What? Friends listen to Amazing Grace in the dark.

26. I practice our mission to "Love one another" to the fullest extent

27. When I saw you, I knew the true meaning of "Rejoice and be Glad"

29. What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list?

30. Hi, my name's Will...God's Will

31. God broke the mold when He made your sweet face.

32. I didn't know angels flew this low.

33. I'd pick you over Satan any day.

34. God was just showing off when He made you.

35. [check the person's shirt tag] "just as i thought... made in heaven.

Fear of Failure

One of the most powerful forces in our lives is fear - fear of pain, fear of loss and fear of failure. The most pressing concern is the fear of failure, because we feel we have never quite reached success. Even the people that are widely seen as "successful" are almost never content with their accomplishments and must strive for more. Why is that? What is this fear, and why does it cripple us? No, why do we allow it to cripple us?

I think the first thing to do before examining the effects of the fear of failure is to define failure. Most verbally equate "failure" with poverty or lack of popularity - but in our minds we connect failure with not doing the best we can. Failure is falling short of what we know we're capable of. How can we conquer this fear? Can we conquer this fear? I believe the answer is yes we can, and I think I found out how.

For the non-Christians, they will be dragged down and depressed by this fear for the remainder of their lives. For those of us who have committed our lives to Christ, we have an easy solution that is almost impossible for most to grasp: devote our lives to Christ. Many Christians will scoff, "I did that the moment I prayed the 'Sinner's Prayer.'" Giving lip service to Christ and actually following Him are two completely different paths which lead to completely different results. Those that have devoted their lives to Christ feel an overwhelming peace and a satisfaction that they are doing the very best they can with what they've been given. Each person has their own talents and gifts; it's up to God to let us know how to use them in the most fulfilling way. Note that I didn't use the phrase "most lucrative way" or "most praise-worthy way." I don't think money equals happiness, nor do I think that fame or praise brings you joy. Sure, it may bring temporary satisfaction, but then your human desire for more kicks in. You want more money, more fame, more fill-in-the-blank.

If we devote our lives to Christ and follow His leading in our lives, we will lead a fulfilling life. A life that is peaceful because we know He has a perfect plan for our lives. A life that is lucrative, because we know that He'll take care of us - and what is money without the security of knowing all your needs will be taken care of? If we devote our lives to Christ He will surprise us by taking us places we'd never dreamed of being. He will look at your measly plans and say "throw those out and follow Me." Devoting your life to Christ is so much easier said than done. It requires an impossible amount of self-control and servitude. Without the understanding that your life is for a much bigger purpose than your own pleasure you will constantly be questioning what God is doing, doubting his omniscience and sovereignty. Without devoting your life to Christ your life will be a miserable failure.

Random Facts!

Random Facts About Alex


I saw someone that did this and thought it was a great idea. So here's a few random facts about me in no particular order...

1. I have always been the guy girls cry on, not about
2. I don't mind that at all
3. I do not like "manly" things like shooting, fighting or wrestling. You're stronger than me, get over it.
4. I enjoy randomly complimenting people because I know how much encouragement means to people...I'm really not flirting with you.
5. I thought "Titanic" was a great movie...I've seen the second half of that movie over twenty times
6. I have terrible luck with cops, I've been pulled over about nine times
7. I've only gotten three tickets, cops just enjoy pulling me over to search my car
8. I sing in my car when I'm alone
9. I believe people when they say the see ghosts...but I think people are being fooled into seeing things that don't exist
10. I almost never get angry, but I get annoyed easily
11. I have almost no compassion for the homeless, and that's not a cool thing
12. I have never met a celebrity
13. I am a virgin and proud of it
14. I've been propositioned for sex like five times...thanks but no thanks
15. I am not gay
16. I don't respond well to compliments, they make me awkward
17. I think marriage is an awesome thing and I would love to get married someday
18. ...but I'm afraid of getting hurt by a divorce so I shy away from all relationships
19. I was extremely suicidal when I was 16
20. I was a fat kid for about two years and had to develop a personality and humor to make chic friends
21. Then I lost the weight, got pretty and my friendships faded because it got weird
22. When we were growing up me and my sister were best friends
23. Now we hardly talk to each other...
24. Of all the relationships in my lifetime that have collapsed, my sisters' is the one I'm most ashamed of
25. I think smokers are disgusting and unattractive
26. I had a bad experience with an alcoholic relative when I was 12 years old and bowed I would never drink
27. I broke that vow when I was 18 and hated myself for it for months
28. I have a gambling problem - I usually win and that doesn't help at all
29. I have a thing for funny girls
30. Some guys are "leg" guys, I'm an "eye" guy
31. I enjoy hiking but pretend I don't because I'm lazy
32. I only date Christians
33. I view money as simply a tool and not something to be desired
34. I've seen people throw their lives away in pursuit of money
35. I was one of those people
36. I am very shy if I'm in a new surrounding
37. I am the life of the party if I'm comfortable
38. I have no compassion for self-mutilators
39. I am a news junkie
40. Really loud noises make me blink
41. Baby blue is my favorite color
42. I love rap music
43. I hate hard-core, screaming music
44. I don't believe in love at first sight
45. I don't believe there is "the one" for me
46. I can't stand raisins
47. I drink way too much soda
48. I forgot my mom's birthday this year
49. If I brought my step-brother to Christ I could die happy
50. I would die if that's what it took for him to be saved
51. I would die if that's what it took for my sister to be saved
52. I think President Bush has done a great job
53. I think "global warming" is a hoax
54. I would rather hang out with a funny girl than a "sexy" girl
55. If I tease you I'm comfortable around you
56. If I ignore you then you intimidate me
57. I cry watching emotional movies...I'll leave the room before I break down tho
58. I do my best to avoid movies with nudity
59. I will not swim in the same pool as girls with two-pieces on...I'm not strong enough
60. I think I'm good-looking
61. I don't think I deserve any credit for it...I had no choice in the matter
62. Girls that flaunt their bodies disgust me
63. Guys that stare at girls like meat disgust me
64. Sometimes I stare at girls like meat and disgust myself
65. I love playing sports even though I'm not very good at any of them
66. I love watching sports with other people, never alone
67. I would rather go to a baseball game than watch it on TV
68. I never want to be a celebrity
69. I look up to my dad
70. I am scared of the dark
71. I am scared of heights but love roller coasters
72. Fake people amuse me, I pity them
73. I was told I was a great actor because I became the character
74. I had a hard time going back to being me so I quit acting
75. I live in holy fear of straying off the narrow path into a life of promiscuity and emptiness

Easter

I'm gonna go spend time with my princess at Easter! Sweet!

Note to Kathy

Hey babe. I just got done watching Ever After and I couldn't help but tell you how I feel. I have had such an amazing time getting to know you, and enjoyed every moment of our relationship - we're writing our own love story. I know it will have a happy ending. I may not be a prince, but you are my Princess. I cherish you and I treasure every moment we're together, even though distance keeps us apart.

This is the part of the love story where our distance stretches us and makes us grow - I can't wait for the "happily ever after" part of the story. Until then, I'll be patiently waiting for my chance to see you and hold you again.

Love,

Alex

If You're Not the One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

- written by Daniel Bedingfield

So amazing

My girlfriend Kathy Freeman is so amazing! She left Lancaster for Chicago three years ago, she struck out on her own to leave a bad situation behind. She has become independent; she is a strong and courageous woman that is able to put her fears behind her and work for what she wants. It is such a blessing for me to have someone like Kathy by my side because I can look to her in times of trouble for encouragement and support.

What inspired me to write this blog now? Well...she's about to start her own business! I am so excited for her, I can't wait to see God just bless her socks off with this new endeavor. I know that she will be an upright, godly businesswoman and that God will bless her efforts. Kathy Freeman is a Proverbs 31 woman: noble, kind, caring, works with eager hands and a natural leader. Proverbs 31:30b tells us that a woman like Kathy is to be praised, so I'm letting the world know that I'm blessed to know her and I'm letting Kathy know that I'm here for her in good times and bad.

Integrity in Academics Update

Friends,

There have been many questions relating to what we're trying to do. Integrity in Academics is working to get a brief video into our junior high classrooms explaining one of the scientific challenges to Darwin's theory of evolution. Integrity in Academics is not a religious organization, nor are we anti-evolution: we want to improve the way evolution is taught in our local schools. You can learn more at our web site, http://www.integrityinacademics.com

Our proposed policy at the Lancaster School District has been delegated to Dr. Sundberg, the Director of Education Services, for his approval. We need to show some community support and encourage Dr Sundberg to give his approval to our policy. Please do not harass Dr Sundberg, one email per person will be plenty to get the message across. Dr Sundberg's email is:
sundbergh@do.lancaster.k12.ca.us

Thank you for your continued support, and do not hesitate to email me with questions.


Regards,


Alex Branning
alex@integrityinacademics.com

Kathy Freeman

When I talk to Kathy I throw out the phrase "You're Amazing" a lot - I wanted to expand a little bit on that:

She's gorgeous
She's funny
She's godly
She has a great heart
She has a loveable personality
She's smart (*cough* nerd! *cough*)
She's a leader
She is independent - she doesn't need me or anyone else; and that's so cool!
She's caring
She rocks my world

I just sum all that up with "You're Amazing."

A martyr's faith...

I went to church this weekend expecting to be taught - instead I was stunned. There was a young woman getting baptized named Allam, a seventeen-year old foreign exchange from Tunisia. Tunisia is a Muslim country. Allam knows that when she returns to her family in May, she will at least be ostracized from her family, and it is very likely she will be sexually assaulted and killed for her conversion. In other words, she converted to Christianity knowing full well it means near-certain death. She was smiling as she was telling us this, and said that not only was she returning to her home country, she was going to spread the gospel as much as she can when she returns. She knows that returning to Tunisia will result in her losing her family, any hopes of a prosperous future and most likely her life. She has a martyr's faith.

Needless to say, this got me thinking: do I have that kind of faith? Do I have that level of commitment to my Savior? He died for me, am I willing to die for Him? My initial reaction is a strong "Of course I am! Bring it on!" but upon further soul-searching I realized that I am holding myself back. My selfish desires tell me that suffering for my faith is counter-productive, how can I serve Christ in jail or dead? The answer is obvious and we see it throughout Scripture: the Christian message gets louder once the martyr goes to the grave. It's not about me, it's about the Message I'm preaching.